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Hairball: Songs From The Depths

by Sarah Donner

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1.
Have A Hit 01:47
HAVE A HIT (capo 2 - Bm G D A, Bm G D A G/C G) C#m A E B The lady kitty she got knocked up Behind a tree after a hit of nip She was taken by tomcat in the shadows Now she needs something to help her just let go C# A E B It’s ok to have a hit When you’re pregnant And you’re a cat And it’s catnip There’s nothing wrong with A/D A A/D G Herbal stimulation after carnal copulation C# A E B It’s a hard time living on the streets When you don’t got a steady stream of kibbles and wet meatz Don’t be a quitter if you’re gonna have a litter You can lick it, you can sniff it if it makes you feel better You got babies in your belly, yeah, you know it’s gonna fatten Try nepeta cataria if you’re down with the latin All you cats who copy, when you feel like getting naughty All you fuzzy little shawties just rub it on your body It’s ok to have a hit When you’re pregnant And you’re a cat And it’s catnip There’s nothing wrong with A/D A A/D G Herbal stimulation after carnal copulation A/D G We all need a little self medication
2.
URINE MY HEART F G C You got the bedroom, You got the bed You got the pages of the books that I read I hit the bottle, You hit the couch You hit my futon, and I cannot get you out F G Am C You're in my heart But urine needs to stay inside the box You're in my heart But urine needs to stay inside the box F G C Are you just angry at my new man Or are you jealous of the sexy time I get? Could it be viral or a UTI? We'll have you tested so we can justify F G Am C You're in my heart But urine needs to stay inside the box You're in my heart But urine needs to stay inside the box Eb F Try peroxide, baking soda, mix up vinegar with water Eb F G C Microban and listerine, or just a match and gasoline
3.
Hairball 02:36
HAIRBALL C#m A E B I like to lick I like to groom But when my tummy runs out of room And food needs real estate I get the need I get the urge To arch my back and start to purge I dramatically regurgitate A hairball is no fun at all Deep from the depths I can recall A hairball I cannot stall When it is ready you’ll hear my call Excessive hack excessive cough Diarrhea and weight loss Means take me to a vet Brush out my coat Feed me some grass Appease my digestive tract Take a look at my diet A hairball is no fun at all Deep from the depths I can recall A hairball I cannot stall When it is ready you’ll hear my call
4.
Exploding kittens cannot be contained Easy clean up because it’s just a game The highest grossing Kickstarter campaign It’s so much fun for everyone and doesn’t leave a stain In my day I’ve come across a kitty cat or two Weaned and cleaned and in between there’s been a lot of poo Parasites hold on tight, and ticking like a clock When they express it makes a mess, but now there is a box for Exploding kittens cannot be contained Easy clean up because it’s just a game The highest grossing Kickstarter campaign It’s so much fun for everyone and doesn’t leave a stain Kitten love, cuddle stuff can tug at your heartstrings Nature made this cute grenade, a fluffy IED You never know when they’ll explode, you must be on your game You must diffuse or you will lose, if it’s in the cards of Exploding kittens cannot be contained Easy clean up because it’s just a game The highest grossing Kickstarter campaign It’s so much fun for everyone and doesn’t leave a stain
5.
Wishbone 03:48
WISHBONE G G/F# G/E G/D Wishbone you made it in this world all alone G G/F# G/E G/D G/B C Wishing for a place to call your own Wandering the car parks and back yards of this town Wondering if there’s anyone or anything worth sticking around G/B C D And I’d have you for my friend, but I know it’s just pretend You’ve got parties in the trees G/B D You’re using me G D G/B C G G/F# G/E G/D Morning and you’re where you always hide G G/F# G/E G/D G/B C Mourning the loss of your offspring and the loss of your pride And your den is the old shed out by the old fence that freezes in wintertime But I’d give you shelter, yeah I’d keep you warm if you’d just stay inside CHORUS G D G/B C Am G/B C And if I tried to hold you, you would run Am G/B D But if I left food behind, you’d come G D G/B C G G/F# G/E G/D Wishbone you made it in this world all alone
6.
PENDING THEORIES (A A B A A B A) D If I don’t like the food on my plate G I cover it and hope that you will take the hint D A I pass on meat that is subpar You bury food too with your napkin When you are dining out, and you are done We all want a meal that is five stars G D Cause in the kitchen we all know G How much you love me and the D A Lengths that you would go to please me When I eat mah meats I will bury Why I do this it is a mystery No one knows, but there are pending theories If I cover food I was noshing on It might offer me some protection From scavengers and enemies Cause in the jungle we don’t know When our next meal will be And you can’t get your gazelle ‘to go’ If I could save it for later Put it in the refrigerator But I don’t have thumbs or Tupperware
7.
The Only One 03:09
THE ONLY ONE (capo 3) (A B C A B C C) C Ab I was the one who lived on your bed I puked on your rug and slept on your head (sometimes) We played with the string, I sat on your lap It was just us, and I liked it like that Eb D And who’s this new friend that I see you have brought F G She slept in our bed and she pooped in my box G C C/E D I was the only one To shed on your couch and lie in your sun G/B C G/D Em Hissing and scowling and taking a swat Just goes to proove that I am the boss C Ab Here are some tips you might not assume Give us our space inside separate rooms Eb D Keep switching our bedding so we’re used to the smells F G In a few days, we’ll be making out And we’ll be the only ones To shed on your couch and lie in your sun We’ll run round the house and break all your stuff You’ll know we are friends when we lick each other’s bum, bum, ba dum dum, da dum dum, da da (etc)
8.
UNBEATABLE FOE (capo 3 - Am C D, D D/C D/G D/F) Cm Eb F If you want to do a lazy kitty favours Pull out a stimulating laser It’s better than an episode of Frasier Just be sure you don’t point it in their eyes They have retinas that you could fry If the beam is ten milliwatts or higher F F/Eb Oh my unbeatable foe Bb I’ll go where ever you go F F/Eb Oh my unbeatable foe Bb Bb/Ab F F/Eb Bb Bb/Ab I’ll go where ever you go Try to curb laser beam frustration After laser light show elation With a tactile toy stimulation When they’re done don’t leave ‘em high and hyper Since no one wants to look like a sniper Oh my unbeatable foe I’ll go where ever you go Oh my unbeatable foe I’ll go where ever you go
9.
LEAD A STRAY ASTRAY CAPO 2 E E/D E/C# Am Let’s get the kitties neutered and spayed They lose their balls, but it’s better that way, hey It’s approved by the ASPCA A C#m It’s ok to lead a stray astray Whether feral or a domesticate They don’t have condoms, so We’ve got to regulate E A E B Trap, neuter, and release takes responsibility If you do it, you will see how happy feral cats can be E E/D E/C# Am And your colony will live in harmony
10.
Lotion Love 02:05
LOTION LOVE A B When you step out of the bathtub I just can’t help it I want to rub on you When you take out the lotion I get emotional what else can I do? E F#m G#m I don’t want to waste the tasty taste It’s like gravy on your legs When you baste your face in the pastey paste I want to eat it up and not say grace A B But if you don’t want to get with me Switch to a lotion that’s more citrusy We’ll find another way to get kinky ‘Cuz you’ll always be my cat lady! (chorus chords) A B I’m attracted to the smell on your skin So baby let me use my tongue to rub it in E F#m G#m I don’t want to waste the tasty taste It’s like gravy on your legs When you baste your face in the pastey paste I want to eat it up and not say grace
11.
CAT MAT COMBAT E A B E B A It is common for a cat who is fluffy to get mats With your help they can combat Get those chunky clumps really flat G# A Everyday just brush their hair G# A B Then your fingers won’t get stuck in there E B A Am When they start shedding, groom that kitty Once the undercoat loosens, it’s not pretty G# A mat can trap dirt and debris A Untreated it can lead G# To cutting of oxygen A B Lesions and skin infections (E A B E B A) On the super matted fur, seek out a professional Smaller mats can be worked with some powdered corn starch Or use clippers, it’s safer for the their skin Don’t use scissors, you could cut them CHORUS A B And just like a child, it’s hard to bend that will A B You may have to bribe them to get them to sit still CHORUS
12.

about

This album was funded by my fans, so you only have yourselves to blame. All songs were recorded in my basement studio. This is what too many cats sounds like. I'm sorry, and you're welcome.

credits

released June 16, 2015

Jay Buchanan (bass), Mike Batchelor (trumpet), Chris Q Murphy (electric guitar), Kevin Killen (drums)

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Sarah Donner Massachusetts

Sarah Donner is an indie folkpop star who has embraced her inner catlady. "The Motherf**cking Pterodactyl Song" which was co- written with The Oatmeal catapulted Sarah into weblebrity status with over two million views on YouTube. After stretching her legs with musical theatre, she picked up a guitar, abandoned her classical roots, and started rocking out (with fantastic breath support). ... more

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